Something About You
by shyvioletgirl
Summary: A story about the evolution of Jake & Cassandra's relationship starting from City of Light. Entire story from Jake's point of view. (Written with the episodes in intended order, not order they were aired in) Rating may change at a later date.
1. Where We Begin

**Something About You**

 **Where We Begin**

I'm surprised to find her sitting on the front steps to the Annex as I was finally leaving for the night, but I really shouldn't be. She's never been one to shy away from a problem when it comes to our tumultuous relationship. I also know today had been just as hard for her as it had been for me, and she's probably carrying around a whole lot of guilt that she shouldn't be. I want to reassure her, but I'm not sure she'd believe anything I tell her right now. Especially after blowing her off when she invited me to drinks earlier.

Watching her sitting there on the steps staring off into the horizon I wonder what's going through that brilliant mind of hers. I can almost imagine some of the scenarios running through her head, and know none of them are close to the truth. Her copper hair falling in layers of soft curls drifting in a light caress across her back with the slight breeze has me thinking things I know I shouldn't let myself think. I smile as I think them anyway. I'm reminded of another recent night when I couldn't stop similar thoughts.

She is rarely so still, and to see her like this is more than a little disconcerting. The two of us have been through so much together in the short amount of time we've known each other, and we can never seem to find ourselves standing on common ground. I know that's mostly my fault, that there's always something standing in the path keeping us together, and yet just out of each other's reach at the same time.

"Hey, I thought you went out for a drink with Jones?" I questioned, sitting down on the steps next to her. I find myself wanting to get closer to her, but am not sure where the two of us stand right now, so I make sure to leave a little room between us.

"I did, but I wanted to make sure you were okay after today. I know I messed everything up again," she stated matter-of-factly, like she's already decided to shoulder all of the blame for the catastrophe today was. She looks up at me with the pain of today's events in her eyes and I don't know how to rid her of it.

"Cassie, don't do that, don't blame yourself for something that was doomed to fail from the start. Even Tesla couldn't make that capacitor work. You saved thousands of lives today, not to mention Colonel Baird. Sure it would have been nice if we could have saved the lost souls of Collins Falls too, but I'm not sure we were ever meant to."

"And yet, you went to Paris for her anyway?" It wasn't really a question. I probably didn't need to say the words, because somehow she already knew the answer. She deserved the words though; there had been too many moments where the words had been kept hidden already.

"Yeah, I did. How did you know where I went?" I don't know why I asked, because if I was honest with myself I knew the answer just as much as she's known the answer to her question. She knows me better than anyone I've ever met, and she sees what I still try to keep hidden beneath the surface.

"I pay attention. With the two of you constantly speaking French and all her postcards it was the logical conclusion to make." She sounds heartbroken, and I'm afraid I know why, but am not ready to broach that particular subject with her just yet. She'll likely bring it up before I ever do anyway.

I find all I can do is nod in response. This conversation isn't going exactly the way I expected, but then nothing with Cassandra is ever what I expect it to be. She is…well I can't even try to explain her. She's like no one I've ever met before and I've come to appreciate that she's different; the perfect kind of different. I never knew that a woman could be both the hurricane that completely turns your life upside-down as well as the sunshine and rainbows that comes after and makes it all right side up again.

"I know you said it wasn't my fault, but I still feel like I'm the reason you lost her. I didn't see the mistake until it was too late, and I hate that. I feel like when it comes to you I'm always hurting you in some way." The pain that's in her voice has nothing to do with actually losing Mabel, and everything to do with me and her knowledge of the man I've made myself into, knowing the way I feel about my own failures and how they'll ultimately influence who I'm still shaping myself into.

"Cassie, while I'm not happy with the circumstances of today, I'm not as upset as you seem to think I am. As much as I liked Mabel nothing was ever going to come of it. The minute she was free of Collins Falls she would have been off chasin' her dreams. I'm already livin' mine." I don't know if this is what she expects to hear, but I know it's what I need her to know and understand. I found what I was looking for when Flynn invited us to the Library.

"You're trying to tell me you would rather spend your days with me and Jones chasing down crazy who-knows-what instead of traveling the world with beautiful Mabel? I'm not sure I believe you." I can hear the hint of sarcasm lurking in her voice, but I also hear the strain she's trying to keep at bay.

"I'll admit it might be nice to travel the world to just enjoy it instead of constantly chasin' down some artifact or savin' the world from wild magic, but Mabel and I were too alike for the happiness to have ever lasted. I think both of us knew it even if we didn't want to say it out loud. It was nice to believe there could be something there just because we understood each other. Does that make sense?"

"I guess so."

"Besides nothing could ever compare to what we do day in and day out. I could never leave this, I love it, and I know I'd miss you too much. I'd probably even miss Jones, but let's not tell him that." I bump her knee with my own in hopes of making her smile. I'm rewarded with not only a smile, but a giggle as well.

"Could be quite the disastrous situation if Ezekiel knows you'd miss him if you were no longer here," she related between giggles.

"See there, that smile, I would miss not getting the chance to see it every day. And I really would have hated it if I had missed Christmas when you found out that Santa was real, because that smile was amazingly beautiful. Plus, you're awful cute when you're jealous too, don't think I didn't notice all those evil looks you were shooting Mabel," I admitted with a smile of my own. What do you know, I broached the subject first.

"Now you're just being mean," she complained on another giggle.

"But I really appreciate that you were there for me trying to help do right by those people. It meant a lot to me that you were trying to help for more than just Colonel Baird," I admitted before she could latch herself on to the topic of jealousy I'd inadvertently brought up.

"I'll always be there Jake, I promise. Whatever it takes," she assured, a sad smile upon her lips, knowing it was a promise she really couldn't make. Knowing this made all the emotions she brought out in me all that much harder to handle. It doesn't seem to matter what I do to keep those feelings locked up tight, they always seem to bubble to the surface. I know eventually we're going to have to have a conversation about her mortality and what it means for our relationship, but I know I won't be able to handle that tonight, especially after what happened today.

"I know you will be," I whispered, putting my arm around her, pulling her close and resting my head on hers. Maybe if we both believe the lie enough it'll never come to pass.


	2. Faith and Reason

**Faith and Reason**

If I've learned anything in my life, it's that trust is precarious. I never could find a happy medium when it comes to trust, and I've let my lack of it control most of my life. You would think that working at the Library would take quite a bit of trust, but surprisingly, it doesn't. When it comes to the Library and those I work with I've learned it takes something much more than trust, it takes faith. While trust might be a part of faith, I've found that it's something so much stronger. And stronger is definitely what I've needed to be since I met the beautiful woman sitting next to me.

Faith, however, is what I've discovered had grown between the two of us. I was probably never going to learn to trust like most people, I'm too set in my ways to ever really change that much. I've grown into a different man being here, but there are some parts of myself that I'll never be able to let go of. Of everyone I work with it is Cassie that seems to understand that more than anyone. How she can see me, when I know the pain I've put her through with my lack of trust, is something I might not ever fully understand. My faith in her though is everlasting, because even when I know she's lying about always being here for me, I know she would give anything to make the statement true.

We are a strange pair, me and Cassie. The two of us, we're like fire and gasoline, but at the same time complement each other effortlessly. She brings out such a range of emotions in me that sometimes I get dizzy just thinking about what could happen if I ever gave in to said emotions. Tonight, however, I've decided I'm tired of fighting and holding back. Nothing will ever be perfect between us because of how different we are and the circumstances of where our lives are headed, but if I learned anything from today's events it's that absolutely nothing in life is guaranteed.

She's still leaning against my side, and I feel she fits wonderfully. Two broken puzzle pieces that are still trying to figure out how they fit in the world, and maybe even how they possibly could fit together.

I know we can't stay here forever, but know I'm not ready for the night to be over. Maybe I'm putting off dealing with the day's events, but then maybe I left everything I needed to back in Paris. Today was eye opening, and I'm sure eventually there is going to be more emotional downfall, but right now everything seems to be just the way it should be.

"Come on Cass, let's get you home," I said, taking her hand to help her off the Annex steps.

"You don't have to take me home, I can get there myself," she argued when she was finally on her feet again.

"I know you can, but I'm not ready to let you go just yet tonight," I admitted with a slight smile. She looked at me hard after that, like she was trying to figure out some mystery.

"Jake, where are you going with this?" she questioned.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what is it you see happening tonight that you're all of a sudden not ready to let go?" I feel like she's trying to accuse me of something nefarious, and I really don't like it.

"I just want to spend some more time with you. I thought things between us were going good for once, and that it would be nice for it to last a little longer, is all." She's right, nothing between us ever seems to go quite right. I find myself running my hand through my hair in frustration. How is it that everything between us seems to always turn on a dime?

"Okay, you can take me home," she relented, but keeps looking back at me as if still trying to solve some mystery.

Trust seems to be a problem for both of us now. Granted, while things have been getting better between the two of us since she kicked ass and saved us all in Slovakia my behavior must seem completely out-of-character from what she was expecting tonight. She was expecting distraught and maybe even a little broken, and here I am telling her I want to spend more time with her. I don't know what I can say or do to give her the peace of mind she needs about the situation, so the walk to my truck is a silent one.

Neither of us seems know where to go from here and we both keep stealing glances at each other, as the short drive to Cassie's apartment grows ever more silent. How did I get myself into this mess? Oh, wait; it was my idea to take her home. What was I thinking? Why is it the two of us cannot move past a certain point without one or both of us getting apprehensive? Again, probably my fault seeing as how I'm the one that has put constraints on what our relationship is and can ultimately become. I guess I can see why she gets so frustrated with me sometimes, I'm getting frustrated with myself and this mess I've created that has become our relationship.

"Cassie, why did you ask me about what I see happening tonight? Did I say something to make you uncomfortable or something?" I must have said something for her voice to have been so strained when she asked me.

"I don't know. You just seemed so much happier about everything tonight than I expected. I guess I thought I would have to be the one cheering you up, and instead you were the one making me smile again. It's just been a very confusing evening after a horrible day, and you caught me off guard."

"I can understand that, but you've been lookin' at me strange ever since. So, what's going on in that brilliant mind of yours that you are afraid to share with me; what is it that's really bothering you?"

"I guess I was just thinking about what you said about me being jealous. I was jealous, but probably not for the reasons you think."

"Because you think I trusted her when I didn't you," I responded without thought. After spending so much time with her I know how her mind works – for the most part.

"I guess you understand me more than I thought you did." She looked sad again, and I hated that I was the one that kept that frown on her beautiful face.

"I didn't trust her Cassie. We were a little like magnets being pulled toward each other, but you don't have to worry that I gave her the trust I've always refused you."

Silence descends upon the cab of the truck once again. Apparently she didn't know how to respond to the fact that I hadn't trusted Mabel any more than I did her. I don't know if that helped or hindered whatever was racing through her thoughts, but she was looking down at her hands folded in her lap, which is not like Cassie at all. She always met every challenge head on, she could be quiet, but she didn't hide away like she is now. When she speaks again her voice is so soft I almost don't hear her.

"I might have been jealous for other reasons too." I smile, knowing what she means. Things had started to change for the two of us somewhere around Christmas, it was then that she had started to worm her way into my heart and soul. Something about her exuberance when she learned Santa and all the trappings of Christmas are real broke through my walls, and they've been slowly crumbling ever since.

"I might like the sound of that Cassie."

* * *

 _ **Thank you to everyone taking the time to read, favorite, and follow this story, I hope you'll continue to enjoy!**_

 _ **Also thank you to Navygirlcec for your review I greatly appreciate it.**_


	3. Breathing Lessons

**Breathing Lessons**

"You would find that appealing, wouldn't you?" she laughed as we pulled up to her building.

"Hard to be upset when a beautiful woman tells you she may have been jealous for reasons other than a few trust issues. Plus, after today my ego could use the boost," I admitted, a smile at the ready as I put my truck in park. Her cobalt eyes take me in, and I see questions I know she's afraid to ask, but also know she's not likely to back down either.

"You really think I'm beautiful?" she questioned, her voice soft and just as sweet as the rest of her.

"Yes, Cass, I think you are extraordinarily beautiful," I confessed.

"No one has ever told me that before. I mean other than my parents, but they don't really count," she babbled. There's a sparkle in her eyes that reminds me of star sapphires. I know I should stop myself, but there's something going on between the two of us right now that is even stronger than the pull I felt with Mabel. I reach my hand across to her, cupping her cheek.

"Then whoever you'd been spending your time with were idiots," I told her, brushing my thumb lightly across her cheek's soft skin causing her to lean into my hand.

"I didn't really spend time with anyone. Even before the tumor I kept mostly to myself, and I guess after I found out about the tumor I kind of isolated myself even more." She suddenly looked away, my hand falling from her face with the action. I could tell she was trying to keep herself from thinking about those years she spent all alone, trying to keep those emotions from escaping for anyone to see. After a moment she looked back at me with a polite smile on her face, "Did you want to come up for a little bit?"

"Sure Cass, I'd like that."

Following her up to her apartment after today's strange events is more than a little crazy on my part, especially after that moment back in the truck. I don't know where any of this between the two of us is going, and I sure as hell know I should be running in the other direction by now. Today I opened myself up to a woman for the second time and still had to watch it all fall apart, so whatever it is I'm doing now is sure to get me into trouble in some capacity. However, I know Cassandra will do whatever it takes to keep me from being hurt again.

I've been to Cassandra's apartment on a few occasions, and yet, I'm always awed by how she can make the quirkiness work for her. Her apartment is a mirror reflection of herself, a little crazy with a smart sophistication. If it was anyone else's place it just wouldn't work, but somehow she's found the right balance.

"Do you really think we were supposed to fail today?" she asked, taking a seat on the overstuffed sofa in her living room.

"I'm not sure if _supposed to fail_ is really the right way of putting it. I think that maybe after a hundred years it's just been too long for the lost souls of Collins Falls to be saved," I answered her with the hope that she'll finally take some of the blame off her shoulders.

"I just hate that we couldn't find a way to make it work. I mean we do the impossible on a daily basis, and we couldn't save those people."

"I hate it too, but you made the right call today. I know it wasn't an easy decision, but it was the right one."

"I know it was right, but I have a feeling this loss is going to haunt me for a while. It's hard knowing a decision I made cost eighty-seven people a second chance at life even if I saved hundreds maybe even thousands in the process."

"Just don't think you have to carry it all on your shoulders, because I'm here for you just as much as you are for me."

"I know you'll always there when I need you. You've proven it on more than one occasion, and I'm more thankful than you could ever know."

We fall into easy conversation after that. I know I should probably avoid any topics that will take us back to moment like we had in the truck, because I'm not sure either of us is ready for where that would inevitably lead. The effect she has on me is like a drug I could easily become addicted to, and with each passing day it's harder and harder to deny myself.

I watch her while she talks, her hands moving in a quick animation with each word. She's telling me about some research paper she's recently read, and I don't understand most of what she's trying to explain, but her enthusiasm keeps me grinning. When she smiles the way she is right now I find myself wanting to lean over to kiss her just to find out if her lips are as sweet as I imagine them to be.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Cassie asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"How was I lookin' at you exactly?" I asked in return, hoping that I'm not as transparent as I suddenly feel.

"I don't know how to describe it, but different than how you normally look at me."

"Well, I can't rightly answer why I was looking at you that way then. Did you want me to stop? Was I makin' you uncomfortable?"

"Actually, it was kind of nice," she said, her voice so soft and low I almost didn't hear her. She glances up at me afterward, her eyes bright.

All coherent thought is lost in the moment when those baby blues of hers lift to mine, and I know the part of the night where I do something dangerously stupid has arrived. Before any rational thought can appear, I lean in, placing a kiss on her soft lips, but pull away when she squeaks in surprise. Before I have a chance to even take a breath she's pressing her lips back on mine.

Let me tell you kissing Cassie is everything I ever thought it could be and so much more. She is sweeter than sugar and goes to my head faster than a shot of the finest whiskey.

I don't know how it happens, but within moments of kissing her I've pulled her across my lap, deepening the kiss, my fingers tangling in the silk of her wavy hair. The bite of her nails at the base of my skull spurring me on.

When I woke up this morning I never would have imagined I could end up here with Cassie kissing me as if there's no tomorrow. Reluctantly I break our kiss to pull in desperate breaths, my forehead resting against hers.

"What are we doing Jake?" Cassie asked, her breathing as ragged as my own.

"I don't rightly know," I replied, trying to smooth out the mess I'd made of her hair.

"I think maybe we should stop," she suggested, slowly moving off my lap and sitting at the opposite side of the sofa. While I admit we both need to cool down after such an explosive kiss, I'm a little disappointed she has decided to sit so far away from me. "Jake, I need to know what you're thinking. Today was a very high stress day, and I don't want to be just another distraction to help you escape whatever it is you're feeling right now."

"Cassie, I promise you I'm not using you as some sort of distraction," I answered, reaching my hand out across the sofa in hopes that she'll take it, thankfully she does. "While I'll admit this happened kind of suddenly, it's been sitting under the surface for a while now. But you're right, it was a stressful day, so maybe it's time for me to leave, and then we can both decompress and we can see where things stand tomorrow."

She's nodding in understanding, but I can see the doubt in her eyes. I don't know if there's anything I could tell her that would convince her that I genuinely care about her. I don't know where this relationship is going right now, but I know I want and need her in my life. She has become so much more than a colleague, and even more than my friend.

At her door I realize I really don't want to leave, but know if I don't the two of us are going to be headed in a direction there's no turning back from. While I would like nothing more than to spend the night wrapped up in Cassie and her sweet kisses, I know neither of us is sure what is happening between the two of us right now. If we're going to jump off into oblivion together I want us on the same page, and right now I'm not sure we're even in the same book.

Cassie looks up at me with a mixture of apprehension and emotions I can't name swirling in those beautiful blue eyes, and the thing of it is, my eyes are probably a perfect reflection of hers. I want to reassure her, but I need to reassure myself as well. The stresses of the day are starting to wear down on me, and I know it's time for me to go, despite the strong pull of emotion in my heart telling me to stay.

"Night Cassie," I murmured, softly kissing the corner of her mouth, walking out the door before I can change my mind.

* * *

 _ **I hope you are all still enjoying. I am sad to say that the next chapter is going to be a short one, but if I get caught up to where I want to be with the subsequent chapters you might get either 2 chapters in a day or a chapter in the middle of the week. Thanks for following along, I really appreciate it!**_


	4. The In-Between

**The In-Between**

I know I'm probably not going to be doing much sleeping tonight as all I want to do is replay my kiss with Cassandra on a never-ending loop. I want to hold onto the sweetness of the moment for as long as I possibly can. Somehow I find myself comparing it to the brief kiss I shared with Mabel only a few hours earlier, and there's really no comparing the two at all. My kiss with Cassie is everything that was missing when I kissed Mabel, and a whole lot more. Cassie herself is everything I didn't realize I wanted in my life. I'm not even sure what I was thinking when I kissed Mabel other than it was nice to find someone who knew what it was like to be stuck in a situation you can't escape. And I wanted to believe that there could really be something there.

Problem is I always had the option to escape Oklahoma any time I wanted. I just made so many excuses about being where I needed to be; about responsibility to my family that I was never going to be able to leave. I told so many lies that even I started to believe them, and I've let them consume me. I need to find a way to break away from those lies now if I'm ever going to find the happiness that Mabel was so desperately working towards.

If I am ever going to be the kind of man Cassandra deserves then I need to figure out who I really am. While I think I know what I want when it comes to a relationship with Cassie, I also know we have more than one obstacle to overcome if anything between us is ever really going to change. We both have pasts that weigh on us more than either of us likes to admit. I know it is possible, because we're both stronger than anything in our pasts, and the only thing standing in the way of our future is ourselves.

As I lie in bed I let the idea of a life where I can be truly be myself take over. And I let the possibilities found in Cassie's sweet kisses lull me to sleep, where I can dream of a lifetime with her. While I know it's an impossible dream, right here in-between sleep and awake it's as real as anything else in this crazy magical world.

* * *

 _ **I'm sorry it's such a short chapter, but I hope you will enjoy it all the same. Thank you all for following along, I appreciate it more than you can know. Hoping to hear your thoughts on how I'm doing! Next chapter will be up next Monday, so until then, Happy Reading!**_


	5. In Morning's Light

**In Morning's Light**

 _Awkward_. That's the word I feel is going to sum up my day if this morning is any indication of how it's going to play out. While I fell asleep feeling more than a bit elated about the possible direction my relationship with Cassandra could be headed, I'm now beginning to wonder if I should have given her a clearer indication of where I saw things headed from last night's mind-blowing kiss. I didn't give her anything other than a friendly peck goodbye. I'm starting to second guess myself and I know that's not what I should be doing. It's strange how thoughts can change with the break of a new day.

I call her, knowing we have the day off, in hopes of maybe meeting up for a late breakfast or even some lunch later. I hope once I hear her voice all of my sudden doubts will disappear, but her phone goes straight to voicemail.

Since I can't get ahold of her, I head to the Annex knowing I'll be able to lose myself in the large collection of art portfolios. If I'm lucky reading through them will help clear my head and I'll be able to gain some much needed perspective at the same time. I know that I need to get my head on straight before I talk to Cassie again, and then maybe we'll be able to start moving forward toward something for once.

I arrive at the Annex to I find I'm not the only one with the idea of getting some research done on our much needed day off. Jenkins is at his desk, doing something with what appears to be a brain in a jar. I'm sure I don't want to know, so I don't ask.

"Ah, Mr. Stone, I see you've decided to come in today as well. Miss Cillian arrived a short while ago as well. She said something about working on her map of the ley lines before bouncing off," Jenkins announced as I walked into the main room of the Annex.

"Thought I'd look through some of our art portfolios since we actually have a day off," I replied, heading upstairs, ignoring any attempt Jenkins might make in prolonging our conversation, because he has a strange way of seeing everything beneath the surface. I needn't have worried as he barely takes his eyes off what he's doing as I walk away.

I try to keep myself from looking over to the room Cassandra uses to work in, but fail miserably. I think I can hear her talking to herself, but that might just be wishful thinking. The entire way up the stairs I wonder if I should go see her, and try talking to her. We need to figure out exactly what last night meant to the both of us. To figure out where we should go from here. On the other-hand if she really is busy working on her map of the ley lines I don't want to interrupt her focus. She's gotten so much better at focusing since we'd started working on it together.

 _Together._ I never would have thought the two of us could work so well together since I kept pushing her away after her initial betrayal. Even in those early days when I tried my hardest to keep her at arm's length we seemed to be on the same wavelength, being able to work out any situation together. And now that I've stopped pushing so hard we work even better together. I work well with Jones too, but it's not the same as working with Cassandra. Between the two of us I think we could solve almost any problem.

Even the promise of the largest collection of art portfolios at my fingertips I can't seem to move my focus off of her. I can't help but think I should have done things differently with her last night. Maybe everything did move a little too fast for the two of us. But no matter how many times I replay the night in my head I don't see it taking a different turn of events. I want more than anything to know what she's thinking right now, but I lack the courage to ask her.

Of the two of us, she's always been the one with the courage to find the difficult answers. If I were to guess I'd say after finding out you're going to die nothing else can really compare. Her fears stem from her tumor whereas mine are all about failure. If I open myself up, then I have the chance to fail not only myself, but her as well. I don't know if I could handle knowing that I've failed her in some way.

I absentmindedly pull a couple volumes off the shelves and hope I'll be able to concentrate on the art inside them. I'm surprised to find Colonel Baird has arrived as I make my way back down the stairs. She seems baffled at the fact that we've all decided to come in on our day off as well. However, given who we all are I think it makes perfect sense that you'd find us here on our day off. Well, maybe not Jones, then again maybe.

I'm not sure I've ever seen Cassie more excited about going out to save the world than she is right now going to this STEM Fair in Chicago. No, that's not true, she was probably more excited about Santa Claus than the STEM Fair. When she learned the truth about Santa it was like her entire being lit up as brightly as the sun. It was probably the best Christmas I've ever had, and it's mostly because of her happiness. Right now she's smiling and I love when she smiles. I just wish I was the one who made her smile like that and not our current case.

I have a feeling we're both unsure of where we stand with each other because she practically pulls Jones away with her to look for a magical science project. I don't want it to hurt that she's spending her time with Jones, but after last night it would be nice if she would at least look at me. But maybe things got a little too personal last night and she just needs a little bit of time. At least I'm hoping that all she's trying to do is find some perspective like I was. I want to believe that we can find a way to work out who we are to each other outside of the Library.

* * *

 _ **I hope that you all are still enjoying this story, if you are, please let me know! I plan to have the story go through the end of season 1 and then plan on posting the story from Cassandra's perspective as well, but only if I feel like there is interest in the story, so please review this story if you'd like to see more! Chapter 6 will be up next Monday, so until then Thank You for all of your favorites and follows!**_


	6. The Lies We Live

**The Lies We Live**

I never would have thought going to a high school STEM Fair would open up so many of the old wounds from when I was in high school. It's strange what you can see about yourself when you're looking at the problems of those struggling to get by and find their own place in the world. I hope I made an impact with Dashell when I told him I wore my costume too well in high school. I don't even know who I was back then because I spent all of my energy trying to hide who I could be if I wasn't afraid to stop lying. I'm still afraid. Afraid that one of these days I'm not going to be able to be the person the team thinks I am, or who they need me to be because even I'm not sure who I am.

Both Cassie and Jones stayed behind in Chicago to make sure everyone got out of the fair safely after our little stunt with the Faraday Cage. Plus, I think Cassie wanted to talk to Amy a little more; I have a feeling she saw a more than a little bit of herself in the girl. While the fair brought up old feelings of insecurity in me, I can't even imagine what could be going through Cassie's head right now. While she'd initially been excited to be going to the STEM Fair I think by the end she'd found herself reliving losing everything she ever knew her life to be about when she was fifteen. I want to be there for her to talk to, to lean on; instead I'm here at the Annex trying to keep myself keep glancing up at the back door every couple of minutes in hopes that she'll return soon with Jones. Well, I wouldn't mind too much if she accidentally left Jones behind, but I know I'm not that lucky.

Instead of the art portfolios I'd planned on immersing myself in earlier I search the shelves for anything written by and on Lord Byron, my conversation with Dashell still fresh in my mind. _She Walks in Beauty_ playing on a loop in my mind. Before I know it, I've lost myself in the words I'd fallen in love with so many years ago while staying up after everyone else had gone to sleep. I'd memorize lines of poetry, study individual brushstrokes on famous paintings, and learn languages I was never gonna get a chance to use living in rural Oklahoma. I wonder how different my life could have been if I'd just shed that skin I wore and decided to be who I was meant to be? Somewhere along the line I lost sight of all the possibilities in my life and just began surviving from day to day.

"Hey," a voice behind me said, startling me from my thoughts of the past. "Sorry, I thought you heard me walk up," Cassandra apologized.

"It's okay. I was dwelling on things best left in the past anyway. What's that?" I asked, noticing the trophy in her hands.

"Oh, well Jones decided to steal me a trophy. Said I deserved it for my skills in Mathamagics today," she explained with a smile, placing it on the table. All of a sudden I'm jealous of Jones, knowing that he most likely learned a few of Cassandra's secrets today with the two of them spending so much time together. Knowing that he knew that she deserved and probably needed some kind recognition today. I don't like feeling this way even if I agree with what Jones did.

"You were pretty amazing today Cass," I said in agreement, smiling when I noticed the blush on her cheeks.

"I couldn't have done it without your help."

"We make a good team, you and me," I explained.

"Yeah, yeah we do," she agreed.

"Are we gonna talk about last night, or keep trying pretend it's not creating space between us?" I asked, trying not to look too uncomfortable at the prospect of her somehow rejecting me. I don't want to believe that little voice in the back of my head telling me that she'd prefer spending time with Jones over me; that there's something between the two of them that I've refused to see.

"Where do you want to talk? I mean, I think maybe the Annex isn't exactly the place for this conversation. Especially since someone we know has a penchant for eavesdropping today," she explained, looking around the room to see if Jones was somewhere doing just that.

"How do you feel about going to get something to eat?" I asked cautiously, not sure if that's quite what she had in mind by not talking here, but I wanted to take her out earlier so I figure I'll stick to my original plan of attack.

"Kind of like a date?" she asked.

"Exactly like a date," I stated, smiling again.

"I'd really like that Jake," she replied, smiling too. I do love that smile.

* * *

We decided on a local pub not too far from the Annex for our date. Even though she clarified with me that this is in fact a date I still have this feeling in my stomach that it's all going to fall apart on me somehow. I don't know how I'm going to explain to her what's going on in my head, especially after the revelations of today. How do you explain to someone that they're one of the only parts of your life that make complete sense?

Since the pub is only a few blocks from the Annex we decide to walk, and I'm surprised when she's the one to reach for my hand. She looks up at me with questions in her eyes as if she's wondering if she's just made a mistake. I smile and squeeze her hand so she understands I'm happy with her decision. It's kind of nice that the two of us seem to be able to convey our thoughts to each other without words sometimes. Even back when I was trying to punish her for her betrayal I always could seem to tell what it was she was trying to express either through her words or a look.

Apparently happy with my response she leans into me slightly as we walk hand-in-hand.

We seem to luck out and there's no wait at the pub, and we're able to get a table that's mostly secluded. After ordering I find Cassie looking at me expectantly, and I figure that's my clue to start talking. Now I just have to figure out what the right words are…and quickly. To give myself another fleeting moment to find the right words I reach across the table to take her hand.

"You have no idea what you want to say, do you?" she questioned before I had the chance to say anything.

"Not in so many words, no," I chuckled. "I know that everything has changed between us in a short amount of time. And I know that I like these changes, but I don't know how you feel about any of this. I don't want to screw up what we already have Cass, you are too important to me," I admitted, squeezing her hand slightly.

"I guess our association has never exactly been normal in any sense." She looked up at me with a tentative smile.

"No, it hasn't. But if I had been honest with myself instead of believing the lies I've always lived my life by, then maybe we wouldn't have to figure out where we want this relationship to go. We would be doing whatever it is we've always been meant to do."

"Always, huh?"

"Yeah, always. Cassie, from the moment we met, there was just something about you. Something I knew even back then that I wanted in my life."

* * *

 _ **Thank you everyone for all of the love last week! I really appreciate all of the reviews. I appreciate that you're all taking the time to read and seem to like what I've written. I hope you continue to enjoy!**_


End file.
